Here are your cards! The first three steps are can’t-do-without ingredients to clear messaging - be clear what going on, why it's important and what you want. Because of the 'fear of what happens next' most people back down before they even start. 

The purpose of Step 4 is to help you expect a reaction, and to be able to anticipate the most common ones. If you can anticipate it, you can prepare for it, stay centered and move to steps 5 and 6.



  1. Think through the interaction. Practice the steps alone, role play with a friend, start in low threat places, then with your target.

  2. If you’ve been putting up with a behaviour for awhile, instead of rushing out of the gate you might introduce it by saying something like "you know, I’ve been thinking about something for a while" … "Something's been bothering me and I want to talk to you about it  …" Make the timing work to your advantage. 

  3. Don’t get attached to the outcome. Just because you’ve communicated impeccably doesn’t guarantee the result you want. 

  4. Regardless of outcome, working the steps themselves will  increase your power, just focus on that. If results aren’t there, repeat the last step: “This is really important ... how can we make this happen ... what can we do ... I need your help here.” 

For more in-depth work in gaining power and getting the upper edge on change, check out this book:


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This book lays out tested steps that actually work to create the results that you want.

Begin by developing your base, then learn to focus and self-discipline, keep your energy high and your emotions in check and finally, expand your work into where you know it could go.

The Four Elements system explains how to discover and develop the Elements in their correct order.  Complete exercises are given in the Four Elements Journal that stamp in changes. By following this system, change can be radical and sustainable.

In the First Element, define your authentic self and get clear on what you were meant to express. Learn how to bring accountability and responsibility into your life and into the lives of those around you.

In the Second Element, create order in your world. Focus and control distractions. Learn why clutter and scatter can block your growth, and what to do about them. Control worry.  

Element Three helps you balance energy, manage energy reserves, and manage stress. It guides through releasing attachment to unhealthy people and thoughts.

Element Four guides you through expansion, growth, courage, solid risk-taking, and wealth creation. How many of the following statements reflect what you think you need?

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